20/20 Vision

Hi. Remember me?

I’ve been around, busy, avoiding writing blogs.

But,I do feel like I have thoughts to share today. Not forced or a task to be checked off, but felt in my soul that I needed to put my thoughts to words today.

Here’s what’s on my mind: the end of 2019. A reflection of the year. Thanks to years in retail management, the work of year end wrap up/summaries is drilled into my brain.

So, I’ve have carried into my life, using New Year’s Eve to sum up the year. Not good/bad, or win/loss, but just a gathering of significant events from the past 12 months.

Holly’s 2019:

  • Moved downtown, and I love where I live. Probably my favorite place I’ve ever lived.

  • PODCASTS!!!!!!!!! Holy shit, 2019 is the year I found Podcasts. And like a true addict, I fell deep in the whole, fast. Here are the Podcasts I have willing handed over hours over my life to this year, in order: Where Should We Begin-Esther Perel, Free Cookies-Kathryn Budig(this is the podcast that started the binging), Disgraceland-Jake Brennan(This was my #1, ride or die podcast. But, I had to break up with Jake Brennan when he spoke poorly of my girl Courtney Love, in person), Sincerely Ted & Ted Society & CUlture, Yogaland(solely for Jason Crandell), Life Will Be the Death of Me-CHelsea Handler, The Adult Chair-Michelle Chalfant, Morbid(MY CURRENT RIDE OR DIE!!! LOVE ASH & ALAINA. They did talk shit about Courtney as well, and we took a ‘break’, but I’m back now!), Sleep WIth Me-Drew Ackerman, Lore-Aaron Mahnke, & Last Podcast on the Left. Highly recommend all of them.

  • Pookie and the backyard. Me & my friend who I call Pookie, spent the entire Spring & Summer working in my backyard. Building a garden. Making furniture. Learning how to care for plants. I’m a damn gardner now, and I cannot wait for this Sprig to re-start. I have so many plans. More Flowers!

  • Worst financial position of my entire life.

  • I was lucky enough to see the Monet exhibit at DAM. Thanks Tisha, love you.

  • I did not go swimming this year. Not once. I love swimming.

  • A lot of self imposed isolation. (How many fucking years am I going to have to put this in the year end summary! )

  • Saw Pink in concert. AMAZING show. If you ever get the chance, see her live. Thanks Burners!

  • I went to one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever experienced. All the physical/tangible parts of the wedding were stunning of course, but the true beauty was the bride and groom. The beauty of true love, unwavering dedication, and deep respect between these 2 is overwhelming. Their love was palpable. Proof that the Fairy Tale does exist.

  • My Loki started transitioning to his wiser years. He’s a little slower now, but sharpening his observer role and settling into being a wise elder. His hair is as gray as mine now. He is the absolute love that courses through me. He is the homebase of all my love.

  • Became comfortable with blogging, then uncomfortable. Then here we are again today.

  • Left the first studio I ever taught at. We all have to grow up and move out.

  • Filmed the videos for my Mat2Mat channel. Soon nuggets! So soon!

  • My dream car died, and I got a new car. A growing up moment. Sports car to not a sports car; Kitty to Karen.

  • One trip in 2019, my first time to New Orleans. So much fun. Cannot wait to go back.

  • Death of a friendship, but grew a new beautiful relationship with a very special person.

I only had 1 class today. I didn’t even put the idea of this class being my last class of 2019, but 3/4 through class, a wave of significance came over. I realized that I was truly happy, I was truly being authentic, and I wasn’t putting on any show.

You, know, the idea ‘fake it till ya make it’, If I wasn’t faking it, than in a way, I did make it.

And it looks so different than planned it. It was in a way that I have acted like a brat with: I am pure, 100% loyal to Forrest Yoga. I wasn’t teaching Forrest today though. I was leading flow, at one of my corporate classes.

Now, let’s get real here, it was pretty damn Forrest, but not pure.

BUT: I LOVE this class.

In fact, all of my corporate classes have become very, very special to me. I love them. And these folks show the fuck up, every time.

And it’s flow, not Forrest.

I like leading flow. I have found my way through the diarrhea of non-sense poses and unimaginative sequencing, and remembered some other things that I love. I worked hard at this. There were some pure shit classes. It took a lot of patience and trying different sequencing, different postures, music, no music, and shaking it all up together like a dirty martini; now, I have created a balance in myself that serves my higher purpose:To hold space for people.

Do what ya have to do Holly. What difference does it make if I do cat/cow or not.

Who cares.

I actually really like how cat/cow feels. But I stopped doing them, and certainly not teaching them because they aren’t part of the Forrest library. But I started, and holy hell, it was just fine. Then, other little things came together, and I found a natural, authentic version that met folks where they are. And feels good. And these folks are strong as fuck. And, they show up, not for me, but for themselves. They skip lunch, and work longer, and schedule meetings and conference calls around class. Their dedication is Beauty.

I created the space for them to show up. While teaching cat/cow.

The bigger purpose slapped me across the face. What does it matter how we get them on their mats as teachers, but that we get them ON their mats.

Good job Holly.

Happy New Year!

Holly Horteryoga, forrest yoga, 2020